One day I woke up, and my world was changed.
I was alone.
There were no sounds next to me, no one walked around my living room, no sign of the shower used, no cooking in the kitchen, no TV on, just me. Weekend noises ceased, revolving front door desist, phone over-use halted, plans for more than one died.
Where I had a house full of people, suddenly they were gone.
I had no family.
It happened overnight, but I was warned many days. New beginnings, old ties, periods of testing, something akin to death, it was going to be okay.
That’s the only part I cared about. Was I going to be okay? Yes. My heart would be ripped out, but I was going to be okay. So one day I woke up, looked around me, and I was alone.
No parent to understand, sister to hug, brother to call, friend to laugh with, partner to walk with, just me and my God. And my thoughts.
And what beautiful thoughts.
I was grateful to be alive, grateful to love, grateful to want love, grateful to not be destroyed. I was grateful that while my world shifted, all I saw was God, and all I knew was Him. He stood out clearer than day, nearer than night, stronger than gravity, mightier than wind, bolder than lightening, more constant than that there’s a sky. I saw God, and then I saw myself.
I saw beautiful. A strong, powerful, amazing creature fearfully, and wonderfully made. I saw a brilliant mind, beautiful thoughts, a kind and loyal spirit, a believer in good things. I also saw sin like sloth, pride, doubt, stubbornness, ignorance, I saw a child of the King.
As He lifted me up from the ground, I saw more of Him, and those high-walled waves around, did nothing to quell me. I looked about and saw the massive sea surround me, knew it was a fraction of the power He’s placed around me.
In glee I clapped my hands as He lifted me higher, showing me things I couldn’t dream, make-up or even have words to re-tell. These were just for me to see, so I could believe, the great plan He has for me. He said to me with Him I’d be okay, and like Job what I pray today, is that I remember where I came from, and from whom all good things come, so that as I let go, I know the best is yet to come.