Traditionally, it was good form to take a gift to a house one visited. In Kenya, Africa, these gifts came in the form of milk and bread. Here in Canada, North America, it’s mainly a bottle of wine.
There’s one other deposit that’s not so evident, and it reminds me of something I was once told by a friend about colonialism.
When visitors (colonizers), stepped into Africa (home), they left a peaceful house fighting. They deposited seeds of chaos, that bloomed into trees of discord.
Know such people in your life?
Back to the not so evident gift that’s dropped off by house guests: how they make you feel after they leave.
When thinking about who you allow to step into your sanctuary (home), and even into your heart (home), it’s crucial to be honest about what non-verbal contract you enter into.
We are after all, walking with all the experiences and attitudes that make us who we are, life gives us no room to choose what to bring along like a buffet. If we don’t deal with our demons, we can be assured they follow us around.
A non-verbal contract would have certain expectations of how one conducts him/herself as a guest, yet, sometimes, we entertain company that leave us cleaning up the tidal storm they gifted.
Individuals known to love and cause chaos, deserve our mercy and prayers. They also need to be avoided as much as possible for soul-preservation purposes. The sole reason for such drastic remedy lies in their weapon of choice; war.
Now sometimes we’re tied to chaos-gifting people, or meet them along our journey. If one has dealings with, or has experienced the aftermath of a stubborn spirit, and is willing to put in the hard work to:
a) forgive so as to receive the gift of peace, and;
b) learn, so as to reap wisdom out of the pain, these encounters are known to shape our lives in pivotal ways that greatly contribute to our strength of character.
There may be people you wish you never met, but they in fact are going to teach you some of the greatest lessons you’ll ever learn. They won’t destroy you, and they WILL make you stronger.
Strong people deal with their weaknesses, and don’t punish others with their insecurities, and inferiority complexes. They seek to give, lead and build, not use, leech and deflate, so as to leave life-bearing seeds into others’ lives.
You’ll be all the better for it, once you come out of your dark experience. In addition to the new heights (you’re going to soar above the situation like an eagle, not succumb to it like a stepped on slug), you’ll get an opportunity to refine your personal boundaries, and a chance to review your own negative qualities that could use some work, so you’re not gifting others with jade-colored glasses.