In our attempts to fit into prescribed societal norms, we either hone survival instincts or defence mechanisms. For example, as a child one may develop an egotistical streak in order to be heard (masked low self-esteem). These traits are magnified in adulthood, and because we rarely examine childhood experiences that shaped our personalities, leave destructive traits unattended.
What would be most useful to us, is to examine qualities in ourselves utilized as defence mechanisms, and how they served us in childhood. We can then understand that those childhood experiences were just that, things we did as children to survive. By acknowledging qualities undesirable to relationship-building, or the active role played in feeding other people’s undesirable qualities, we begin to see ourselves and others in a completely different light.
We may begin to recognize qualities we could not stand in others that are inherent in us. We may begin to realize that our deep-seated fears are based on our own understanding of self, and have nothing to do with those we interact with. This process starts with self-awareness and growth. Only then can we hope to revise or build relationships with those amongst us, from a pure place of truth. The end result is priceless. We build stronger relationships based on solid unselfish foundations, and in the event that a relationship has to end, recognize and appreciate the value of the other individual in our life. What are your thoughts?
The following has an original publish date of April 2011.
Changes: The series is redacted.