To know your weakness is to know your enemy.
Listen to and start to notice your responses to different situations so that you can better know where your defence mechanism kicks in.
As an example, whenever I felt unappreciated, I remedied the situation by cutting off the person or conversation to hide the subsequent feeling of loneliness. As you can see, there was no room for growth with this habit. I sabotaged many valuable friendships and opportunities. My task is to watch for this tendency in my interactions so as to avoid making the same mistakes.
In the same vein, if I experienced an unproductive or unhealthy situation, it was easy for me to walk away. Discernment is a right use of this habit. I avoided and walked out on many meaningless ties. This is a God-given pruning tool.
In my example I gave two scenarios. They can be respectively equated to a perceived and real threat. In the former the learned trait is brought out, while the other trait will naturally kick in. Learn the difference by “listening” to your behaviour, and you will instinctively know what to do.
“Power of Thought” an introduction and four-part essay easily found in the blog’s search bar.