“The Christian walk is a sacrifice,” she said to me. I was quick to nod my head in agreement before I stopped short. Sacrifice, she said, not hard. Very specific words put into the woman’s mouth, for a very stubborn me. I was in denial, you see.
I had heard God’s Word on the issue I was battling; I just was resistant to it. It did not sound pleasing to my ear, and it did nothing for my needs and wants. I was tired already of all the things I had to “give up”. I wanted to sink into my sinful nature and bathe there awhile. Other people were doing it, and their lives seemed just fine!
I wanted to listen and keep walking with this one. I figured if something was meant to be or not, that it eventually would fall so. I wanted to believe that a way would be made for me, a painless and quick way. I also wanted a decision to be made for me, and that is how I justified continuing to walk down the path, while listening and reading the signs.
Jarring signs that simply said these are the end times. I am looking for someone who can walk in the Spirit and not by sight. These again, specific words out of another woman’s mouth, for yet another stubborn me. We are to gather our own straw to build the brick, yet again, a female wrote this to me.
All different people, in different cities, provinces and countries, different contexts, all work of the same God. Yet I wondered not at the path but where it led. I wondered if I knew what had fallen on my plate. I wondered whether I was ready to face the goliath that stealthily rose to meet me. I knew it rose only because I was getting closer to it. I also wondered if I had any fight.
Well, apparently I do. I am never given more than I can bear, but this only works if I believe it. The choice to meet and face my greatest fears is rewarded by the majestic display of His might in my favor, for God’s power is made perfect in my weakness.
Give it up to Me is what I was fighting to avoid, sure that God would not be as cruel as to take such a loved thing away. I wasn’t looking at it as choosing sides; rather, I wanted to know if there was a compromise.
The choice to accept Me is what I gave comes to mind at times like this. I was given the choice to choose my God and Master. If in fact I chose Him, then that which is not for Him, is not for me. It is that simple. It is that hard. It is a sacrifice.
This then is how I know whether my love for Jesus is real. When it comes down to it, do I ignore what He says and keep walking my own way, abusing the knowledge of His Omnipresence regardless of my decision? Do I look at all He has done for me and count myself blessed to even know Him, the giver of all good and perfect gifts, regardless of the cost? At the end of the day, what will in fact sustain me? Is it that thing I fight to keep, or He that keeps me?
The real war with a Christian is not converting all the unbelievers out there…it is fighting to give up our will for His, fully aware that we have no clue what He is doing, just knowing deep in our soul that it is well.More than anything, it is the blessed assurance that Jesus is mine.
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