I will paint a picture of a working two-person relationship, and ask you to consider the above statement in the same light. In this example, our working relationship is one in which both parties willingly give up independent control, to work for a common good.
Some couples/partners/colleagues etc are better matched at this, than others. This can be attained however, at any level of the relationship, if both parties are actively working on forcing their independent minds to submission, so that they do not constantly threaten to control the relationship.
This is a hard thing to do, because it takes one’s eye off his/her partner, constantly forcing one to review one’s own thoughts and actions against an ongoing relationship. The benefit of this, is that by being self-aware, one is better prepared to deal with any potential or occurring conflict. The down-side for some, is that the other’s thought or action must be considered first, before determining independent needs. This simply means no egos allowed.
Being prepared is the only thing we can humanly do with any of our outcomes. We are able to live a full life in spite of what transpires, if we can get into the practice of preparing ourselves. How do we do this? We first look at our own lives, and what needs to be done in order for us to start moving forward, irregardless of our circumstances.
We take a realistic view of our flaws, and if we can be honest with ourselves, realize that some things may take a while, while others could use some outside help. This is where God the Father kicks in. By asking for His help first, that is, by giving Him our game plan and vow of changing aspects of ourselves in order to become better experience handlers, we ask Him to step in.
His way is all about submission, and He immediately sets about the task of removing barriers between so that we can in fact submit to Him (Job 22:21). We have to completely step into His way in order to step into His will. He works on that with us, and in so doing, one begins to understand why it is important not to fall into temptation or sin.
We are not able to step into His will and ask Him to overlook certain things about us, because we are unwilling to let them go (Psalm 36:2). God is the same (Matt 24:35), and not in the business of adapting to social and personal views on various things. Some things may take a very long time to be rid of, but for as long as we keep trying and not lose hope, we walk out triumphant. Once our will is continually submitted to Him, submitting to those He brings our way becomes a whole lot easier and desirable, for the benefits the relationships bring.
We are told in Prov 3:5-6 to trust in God and not on our own understanding. By doing this we allow Him to be exactly who He is, which is God. This is truly where the hard work lies. It is not in mulling over our experience and determining a next course of action, but lifting our eyes off the situation or problem, and leaving them fixed on God.
We do this by asking Him to come talk to us about ourselves, how He sees us, and what He wants us to be. We are telling Him that we are interested in His help so that we may succeed. He comes in and talks to us about His ways, and in following these ways, and not our own, fashioned against our mortal minds, we do in fact achieve success in submitting to experiences. Circumstances do not scare or move us, because our spirits are prepared, and we know who controls our outcomes.