Depression is a very special illness to me. I fear and respect its power in reducing once fearsome and accomplished people, to bridge swinging drunkards.
I am in awed disgust at its capacity to choose children and convince them of the need for their lives to end now.
I shake at its ability to render useless the very God given faculties to fight things. Depression takes over the mind, and that which holds the mind holds the power.
Depression plays on your sense of disappointment. Those who suffer from Depression are not weaklings. They are the ones whose God given gifts and talents reside in the mind.
Some have gifts that can be used externally, such as surgeons with their hands, and a choir with their voices. It doesn’t matter what our understanding of talents and gifts are, we are all given things that can only come from us as their criteria.
Ironically, Depression doesn’t care what the talent is; a mind gone will never control the mastery of a surgical knife. I would like to think that people with external gifts get it easier than people like me do, but that is a lie. Each one receives his/her own cup, and neither is greater nor smaller than the other.
For those whose talent reside in writing, speaking or acting…Depression and its residency in the brain can render those passions non-existent. It is hard to tell yourself to be inspired and live life to the fullest when you can barely brush your teeth or work up an appetite.
People with Depression have bigger problems in life than looking for a job. In their minds, the battle is over the will to live. While the rest of the world wonders what is so hard about swinging the legs off the bed in the morning, a depressed mind is wondering why s/he is at that moment alive.
I hate Depression. I hate what it does to people, what it reduces them to. I cant stand it, and I know that everyone is struggling to help find the closest thing to a cure for it, but those suffering from it dont have that kind of time.
There are only so many pills and hospital visits one can take. Most of these are unknown to even the closest of friends. How many times have strange pills been discovered post death on someone people purported to know? Let’s be real, we don’t know everything about each other because that wouldn’t be life.
No matter who we are, we all have something secret and dreadful and fearful that we hold close to our hearts. Moments in which we have all felt for a moment at least, a fraction of what it must feel like, for those who have to live with it…every…single…day…of…their…remaining lives.
Jesus came for us. He didn’t promise that it would be easy, but He promised that His Way is effective. We need effective. Good enough and settle in isn’t going to cut it, and we are done surfing through Internet sites looking for and getting conflicting messages.
We are also tired of trying things out in vigor hoping it’ll work. There’s no hoping no more. We are going straight to the Heart of the Medicine, the Healer Himself. He promised us several things in the department of Depression, that I believe are worth looking into.
First of all, we must recognize that Depression moved in and decided to become our best friend. We did not invite Depression into our lives. We did not wake up one morning and yell out, “Depression! I think I’m ready for you now! ” Depression is a disease of the mind and retains its power in where it is located.
No logical person will ever proudly wear a face, persona or character that says I am Depressed. What you see of “Betty Downers”, “buzz kill” and “Oh, God, its him/her!” people, is what has risen to the surface. It is much, much worse where they reside in their heads.
It is not that they don’t know what is going on, or how it looks…it is that we are fighting monstrous battles in our heads. It is that the very nature of the illness renders its understanding useless, for one cannot know what it is until one Meets it, either in self, or other.
Just like the throes of a migraine, etiquette and looking pretty is not high on the list of a sufferer. Survival is the battle. The problem with this battle lies in the odds. We are unable to use diseased equipment to cure disease.
Views are warped, so we don’t even get to fully see what we are dealing with. Space becomes small because we are always imagining being watched and judged.
Communication erodes as everything that we say and hear sounds wrong. There is no trust for we are actively aware of how misunderstanding is informing people’s identity of us.
We attempt to preserve what little piece of ourselves we can as we watch things get destroyed in our minds. Hell on earth sometimes is the person who constantly smiles your way, and you fail to catch the tear in the eyes.
Hell on earth is also the strongest person you can think of. Our strengths and weaknesses are one. It is the dominant side that determines what it will be. Strong people have strong minds. Battles are not the external achievements, but the strength of the demons faced.
What better to fight personal demons than a personal Saviour? No really. If Jesus saves, is this not one thing we could definitely use saving from? If we have tried all that we can, and have lost hope about options, why not look at what Jesus says about Depression and seek Him for Healing so that we may live.
Are we not tired of the fight? How many more rounds do we honestly see ourselves surviving after this? Are we scared right now to even trust that going down this road again will work this time? Lets hold hands and look into that.
By accepting my medication in Jesus Christ, He gives me a constant balm to ensure my peace. This is essential, because it allows one to breathe. By providing His grace, He allows me to rest. Rest is priceless in the rejuvenation, balance and preparation it provides.
He shows me what I can do to maximize my time and efforts. Better yet, not a thing is wasted to Him; He moves hearts through my insight. I can only ever be as candid as I am real with myself, and uncomfortable feelings in whatever form or measure have the untapped and immense capacity to produce some of our best work.
It is not when we are happy in la-la land that magic happens, it is when we are raw and naked and ourselves that paradise is painted. Jesus is not pretentious that He would associate with those secure in themselves. That is why I keep telling you that it is for us He came.
He asks us to be open and stand out in the light that we may be seen. That is scary, especially if Depression is that monster we have struggled all our lives to keep within.
He promises to take care of us, and when we do trust His Word and stand out in the light, it is His glory that we see firsthand, and in it…our healing.