I started to mentally run through my options, thinking that this wasn’t going to work. I was too weak, prideful and afraid. I did not think I had the energy to be a friend, when I couldn’t even be my own friend.
I finally decided I didn’t really have an option because trying to solve things myself hadn’t done much for me throughout the years. I believe this is the reason we were at this stage?
I said yes, and now struggle with fighting the urge to close myself in when I feel hurt, angered, sad, depressed or betrayed.
I see why it is important to trust God throughout this process. I understand this psychological warfare is necessary. You see spiritually, God is taking my problems away, and replacing them with seed-bearing virtues.
In my human world I thought that answered prayer always constituted the literal removal of problems. In humble adoration, I am understanding that God is giving me permanent solutions to my problems.