I dont know how not to dream. I have never learnt how not to keep asking for things. I dont ask them of man, but ask them of God. It is very hard not to ask and not to hope and wish and plan. I dont try and stop. I cant. It is in my nature to do these things. It is only because I do want these things, that I dont know how to not ask.
Why do I keep asking though?
I keep asking because I have faith that if I am not meant to be asking for what I ask for, God will be the first person to tell me. I trust that He will let me know what I can and cannot ask for. For as long as He allows me to have the desires that He must have placed in my heart, I will always ask.
I know that what I ask for is only what I as a human have determined to want at the time that I ask. I also know that for very good reasons, I may or may not receive my request. I also know that my God is not a bluff, that I may ask for something and not want it. I dont dare try that, for if He fulfills my request, my insincerity will be immediately unmasked, and I will have to deal with the consequences.
The things that I ask for are not superhuman in kind. They are superhuman to me, because of who I am, and where I am. The things that I desire are not impossible to achieve, but impossible because of who I am and what I am. I am asking for the moon. These are my personal moons, which may be molehills or mountains to others. They may be achievable or unreachable to others. I am only liable for my own thoughts, and so I ask.
I ask because I am in awe of my Father. I am His daughter and I am slightly spoilt, because everyday I look around and I see what belongs to Him, and it makes it impossible for me to think that there is anything in my itsy bitsy heart that He cannot make come true for me.
My role in life is to please my Father, and live by and for Him, because I chose Him as my God. I may think that this was my own choice, and that I had everything to do with it, but the truth is, He chose me. He picked me and much as I would like to believe that I chose Him, He chose me first long before I knew who He was.
There is nothing seen and unseen that my Father doesn’t own or allow. There is nothing in heaven or earth that my Father doesn’t know. Before anything comes to pass, He is aware. I am not blind to this fact. I also know that there is nothing more pleasing to my Father, than to see His daughter delight in what He has.
I keep asking and keep hoping and keep dreaming… because I can. It is a very small cost to me, to keep my heart open for what I desire, than it is for me to close my heart to wants. I have nothing to fear. There is no pride, fear of rejection, embarrassment, abandonment among others that is enough to keep this girl from dreaming.
And so I dream, and ask, and pray, and wish. I do this in bated breath. I do this in awe, because I know that not even what I could ever want or hope, could match what my Father gives to me. It is a love relationship this. I am in awe of what my Father can do. I am amazed by His wisdom, and humbled by His love.
I want to make Him proud, and want to live only as He determines me to. I want to be and breathe His Will. That is a lot of adoration. That is blind love and faith. The payoff is a magnificent relationship with my Father, in which all my heart’s desires, spoken and unspoken, become realized in His time.
It is hard to explain, this blind following. It is the greatest place to be, this complete adoration. It is the scariest feeling, this fully trusting. It is the most magnificent thing to be, His creature. I am His queen, His prized daughter, the top of the crop. I hold my Father’s name, and belong to His Kingdom. I am first on His mind, and His primary concern is Me.
So I dream, and wish and ask. I place all my requests, at His feet. I leave all my plans with my Lord. I take all my ideas to my Boss. I ask my Guardian for everything. And He returns to me, with more than I could have ever imagined, and more than I could have ever asked for. It is His joy to satisfy the desires of my heart. It is especially His joy, to satisfy my wishes according to His will. And so it is His will I seek. It is in His will that He provides.
Why do I dare to dream? I do this because my Father said I could do so. He said not to listen to anyone and anything that says I cant, because only He knows what can and cant take place. He says He gave me my mind, body and soul to be free in Him. In Him I abide. In Him the desires of my heart are made complete. I brag because He is my Father, and He is not just King of the Castle, He is King of Kings, Lord of Lords, of what is seen and unseen, of what was, is and is to come. I am His daughter. Why would I not be proud. That is my Father… why would I not ask.