To Have & To Hold Till Death Do Us Part

“I, ____, take you, ____, to be my (husband/wife). I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life”


Are said in good faith, with the best intentions, and then life happens, and sometimes in bad, in sickness, to love and honor gets complicated by life. Yet all the days of my life, is part of the bargain.



What do these vows mean to me?

It means that life is not easy, is not fair, is not straight.

It means that in spite of life, those are vows that were shared.
That we are who we are,
And I believe that that is what we fell in love with.
Not the idea of who we were going to be, not who we promised to be,
But who we were when we fell in love.
Who we were when we made the commitment,
To say the vows.


A vow is a promise, a swear,
Made before God and men,
for God and Us.


That addictions may take place (in sickness), that gambling may be our companion (in sickness), that infidelity may feature in the equation (in sickness), that health may decline (in sickness). Sickness is not just physical or mental ill being, it is ill being within the marriage.


That dreams may crumble (in the bad), that money may be our only topic (in the bad), that our children may grow up defiant and cause distress (in the bad), that familial and friendships may struggle or be lost (in the bad). In the bad means things are not good.


In all these things, that we are a unit, not fighting against each other, but together. That before our love, we honor our vows, intended to carry us through rainy days. Intended to remind us of what we pledged, intended to hold what we felt then, together now. Meant to remind us, that things will only get better, if we remember and hold onto our vows, work hard to bring them back to the good and healthy.


In this uncertain world, with all the things that are flung our way, may we remember, our constant Help. May we seek comfort, in the first and last, the beginning, the unifier and finisher of our love. God is love. He understands our world so well, that there is nothing that we can ever do or say that would make Him love us less. His love in us, is an example of His love, for us. Let us depend on Him, to show us the way. Let us forget ourselves, and remember, us. 


Let us go back to the beginning, and seek that which brought us, and though life is hard, it is unfair, there are no guarantees, there are vows. Let us lean on that which tied us together, it was but a vow. It is by that vow, that we pledged allegiance to God and our love. It is that vow that was said when dreams, plans and hopes were all that we had. 


May it be that vow, that returns us to the place, where love was found, created, formed, where there are no coincidences and mistakes in God’s great plans for us. That when He chose an imperfect you for an imperfect me, His love was made perfect, in its manifestation called us


So flesh of my flesh, and bone of my bone, when we are ill, you and I are not well. When we are bad, you and I are not good. When we said those vows, you and I, before God and men, we said them for us, to remind us, in times when we would rather not care, that it is our duty, to love and care. 



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To Have & To Hold Till Death Do Us Part

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