Thinking…

That it is okay that I loved you,
That it is okay that you made me smile.
That it is now clearer to me how much I understood you
And that, somehow, made everything seem worthwhile.

And even though I gave you all, and my heart did complain
You stood the test, somehow turned out the best, of the pile, even though I will,
Never get it, for how could you so easily forget it,
The way you tried to win my heart and failed and tried
And finally I did depart,
Give in to you and for what,

Now I choose
Between a public display or a private show,
All of heartache.That last part confused you. Like you confused me?
Like you made me out to be,
Someone I am ashamed to say was me.
Someone who took out her shield of honour, her name and pride and set it aside,

Her hard work and inspiration,
Set it down for your consideration,
Because she would be damned if she ever let, her man down, by pretending that he was Not more than he seemed. Seemed, deemed, esteemed, queen. I am a queen. And I am Thinking…That it is okay, that you made me smile. I will focus on that, as I let you be, wish you Free, hold no hate
Or malice.
For you were but a part of me, and for the joys and travesties, I can now decide what part I’ll be…
The girl who once loved and that you made smile, or the torn heart beating wild, with no Respite.

I choose life.
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Thinking…

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