Old Habits, an old friend

Familiar, known.Unknown and unfamiliar is what is scary.

Yet why, when every day that I am alive is another opportunity at Different.

Why fix what is not broken.

Why stay the same if it means living in this box I have created for myself.

It is not a box. It is life. You live, you breathe, you work, you play, you feel, you love.

Yet I am limited by what I breathe, work, play, feel and love. It is not working. Something is not working because I am not Satisfied.

So pick up another hobby. Hell, your blogging, blog your thoughts away, that is different isn’t it?

Is it? Blog, pick up another hobby, feel Satisfied then….What. I will learn and master the new hobby, feel self-important for a while, feel superior in my newly gained knowledge for a while…then What.

Then you pick up another hobby or redefine yourself in your box. I don’t see what the problem is.

Well…my issue is that I am not happy with the way things are going. Old Habits have become my dear old friend, the one who is familiar, known and loved by me. Old Habits has kept me away from opportunity, growth, advancement, trying out new and different things, thinking and feeling differently, Living outside my box.

So you propose?

A change. To step out of my self-created box.

To grow, to learn, to feel, to love, out of my box.

To know, to discover, to uncover, outside the box.

To become, the greatest person that only I can be, without the box.

To be comfortable, excited, elated by things, and, no box.

To kill my old friend for I am growing, and Old Habits do not grow. Habits are stagnant.

I hear you are silent my voice. Were you ever my voice? Did you speak for me or against me…against what I could be, live and breathe and dream.

Do I feel lost without you my voice? Or was I simply listening to a voice, one that I gave power to over the years, and a name, Caution – Trusted Friend. Were you Caution?

Were you my voice? Or were you a voice, one whose life I should have silenced a long time ago?

Unknown, unfamiliar…those are not scary words to me. Living in a box is what is scary to me. Having let you control me in my box is what is scary.

So what now. What. You think it is that easy? You think you can tell the difference between the real voice and what you hear as your voice? You think I can’t confuse you with Voice? 

You may try, but you will find that I will name you and kill you and have no more room for you in my mind, body and soul.

You are not my voice, you are not a trusted friend, for a friend would never have let me live in a box defined by my one-dimensional perception, my inability to look and feel outside myself, my inability to let loose of all societal and personal constraints, to hinder my ability and capacity to grow.

You will be silenced, and I will learn and I will grow, and I will not miss you at all.

Good Luck.

Oh! It has already begun old friend. It has already begun.


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Old Habits, an old friend

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